Jen Evans hosts a Menopause Café where anyone can come along for free and talk about menopause and the impact it has on their life.

I have a patchy memory of my own mum’s journey with the menopause. Hers resulted in a hysterectomy at 51 years old, so as I entered my 40’s, everything happening to me bought back memories of what happened to her.   

My first clue that my hormones were changing was July 2020; I was 42. It was a time in everyone’s lives when everything was explained with the caveat “It’s another impact of Covid isn’t it?”. So that’s just what I thought, when my period arrived just 15 days after the one before it. 

Things returned to ‘normal’ – my normal then being a period that arrived whenever it felt like it. But these bleeds became very heavy – two pairs of pants full of sanitary products heavy.

The next clue for me was my mental health.  Anxiety like I’ve never known it. Any form of social interaction became exhausting. Eventually I needed a trip to the GP about the anxiety. I was prescribed an antidepressant and courses on stress and a weekly chat with a therapist.   

After 6 months I was not improving, so I went back to the GP. I mentioned hormones and asked, “Could this be the start of menopause?”. The GP reviewed my last blood test, but no; I wasn’t menopausal. I was still having bleeds. My antidepressant prescription was doubled. 

Fast forward 12 months. I left my job of over 13 years in the school as I just couldn’t ‘do it’ anymore. I got a new part-time job behind a bar which I love with a very inclusive employer. 

A lot of women came in talking about the same things happening to their bodies that were happening to mine.  I started to look for signposting for these clients that was local and accessible, but I couldn’t find anything, so I took the initiative to learn myself.  I signed up for courses and sat learning whilst having hot flushes and brain fog moments - yet I wasn’t menopausal, because the GP said so. 

I went back to the GP. The conclusion was that I was obese (I’m not) and I needed to lose weight.  They said antidepressants I was taking cause hot flushes (they don’t, in fact they are prescribed to stop them) and that I should stop taking them immediately.  Tried that; turns out I am reliant on them, so I am having to come off them very slowly. But again, not menopausal or even perimenopausal as I was still having bleeds.

Six weeks later, I forgot to go into work.  Enough was enough – I went back to the GP, saw a nurse this time; took my husband along, told her of this new development and a prescription of HRT was then forthcoming - 2.5 years after I first went to the GP when my periods started going awry.  

During this time, I continued to learn; continued to discover that I wasn’t the only mid 40’s woman experiencing hormonal changes and being sent away with antidepressants and expensive scans and blood tests. 

I now feel I have enough knowledge to guide other people through this phase of life.  I host a Menopause Café where anyone can come along and talk about menopause and the impact it has on their life; this could be a son, daughter, husband or friend. I also see clients as part of my business to discuss confidentially and in a safe space how its effecting them and we talk through options available to them. 

Early in 2023 I saw advertised on social media a group getting together, hosted by Suffolk Libraries to talk about their new Menopause & Me project.  Always on the look out to further my knowledge, I went along to see what was happening.  An evening sat in a room with likeminded people was invigorating.  I was then invited to the launch of the initiative and have since signed up to the free online weekly course for people experiencing the menopause. I can now signpost my clients to an even more accessible source of information on menopause. 

The menopause has always been with us.  Hundreds of generations have gone before us without the need for it to be highlighted like it is now, so what’s changed?  Life expectancy has increased and we are now expected to work into our late 60’s even 70’s with current thinking.  If we are going to do this, we need to start looking after ourselves earlier, physically and mentally. 

The next generation need to know what we’ve done to help them overcome this hurdle; it doesn’t last forever, but it’s a big hurdle, and we aren’t all the same height, so it takes every person a different amount of effort to get over it.