Charlie Green is the Deputy Head of Education & Training at Suffolk Mind and is a qualified psychotherapist who is passionate about her work, her community, Suffolk, and the people in her life. Along with a skilled team, Charlie develops and delivers The Mental Health Toolkit which is a suite of courses, workshops and 121 support, which aims to help Suffolk be the best place in the world to talk about and take care of mental health. Charlie’s interest in the menopause is both personal and community wide. She understands the importance of having knowledge, support and skills to be able to navigate this transition.

Charlie spoke to seven of her friends (aged 46-53) and asked them key questions about their experience with the menopause, with the intention of sharing their stories to hopefully be of help to others who might relate.

More blogs by Charlie:

• When did you discover you were perimenopausal and what unexpected symptoms did you have?
• The positives and negatives of the menopause
• To HRT or not to HRT: are you taking any hormonal replacement therapy, and how is it working for you?

With a total of 108 years of bleeding between our group of close friends, you would think we would have known what to expect from the menopause… but that wasn’t the case for each of us at first!  

Despite all that experience of menstruation, all the trust and openness of long and supportive friendships, the menopause – or should I say perimenopause – came as a surprise for many of us. Initially we withdrew, walked the road alone, confused and often anxious, unclear about why we were suddenly finding life so tough and disconnected from things we previously took pleasure in.  

But once one of us expanded their knowledge and started to share their experiences, we began to spot the symptoms in ourselves and in each other and we got better at reaching out and helping each other which began to make everything easier. We hope you take some comfort, find some inspiration or feel more connected by reading our words. 

What has been the greatest help for your health and wellbeing during your menopause?

• “Morning routine of meditation and yoga, taking walks in nature and eating healthy nutritious food. But I must admit these practices did not ease me like they used to once I became perimenopausal. However, alongside HRT, I feel they are now my saviour.”

• “Reading and watching TV programs on perimenopause, talking to others on their experiences. More work needs to be done on the impact of the menopause on those who experience it and recognition of them in the workplace and the importance of their value, wisdom and experience and accommodating this life stage.”

• “Talking to friends and reading the menopause doctor on social media and her book.”

• “Slowing down, finding opportunities to be in or near water and always having a fan in my bag! Having an understanding partner and line manager has also been such a relief – they have been so keen to learn more about it.”

• “Being surrounded by women who are really open about their symptoms, challenges and treatment.”

• “Having people I can talk to who have more experience and people who specialise in menopause.”

• “Talking to friends which helped me to realise it was something (in a weird way) to embrace. This then allowed me to deal with it rather than keep my head in the sand.”

• “Movement each day and time with my dog is an important part of my self-care.”

• “A walk on the beach or a dip in the sea can make everything feel better.”

What advice would you give to other people experiencing symptoms?

• “Please reach out and ask for help if you feel you can. If like me, your symptoms get dismissed by your GP, seek out another GP or guidance.”

• “Find a menopause specialist. Read Dr Newson’s work.”

• “Talk to a female GP early on in your journey.”

• “Track symptoms.”

• “Seek help and be pushy if you are not getting the help you think you need. Sadly, our wonderful NHS is still a little behind in terms of understanding symptoms and how to support so be your own advocate! Push until you get what you need.”

• “Start by filling out this symptom checker so when you go to see your health care specialist you can go armed with knowledge.”

• “If you’ve been ‘adulting’ as a human female for a while and you think you’ve finally got your head around what it means to be a woman, it’s probably time for you to go through the menopause. Hold tight and keep an open mind!”

• “Remember, if you are over the age of 45, you do not need a blood test and your periods do not need to have stopped to receive treatment. Treatment should be prescribed on symptoms. If you can cope with your symptoms then keep doing what you are doing, but if they are preventing you from having a life that works, explore how treatment could help you.”

Thank you for taking the time to read our stories, and we hope it has been helpful for you. We encourage you to share it around – let your partners, children, managers and others in your life read it. By sharing stories from real life, we can all help others on their journey through (peri)menopause and also help those around them to offer support with deeper understanding and compassion.

This is a natural stage of life and the more we know, the easier we all travel through it.

Needing support? Sign up to Menopause & Me through Suffolk Libraries or Suffolk Mind. We’re here to help everyone.

• Menopause & Me
• M-Powered support groups
• Free menopause course
• Resources and further reading
• My Menopause blogs
• Menopause & Me Facebook group

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